Sunday, April 17, 2011

Staying vs. Leaving (dreams ddd 3 of 3)

I still think I want to teach composition full time at a small, Christian liberal arts college.  Is this a good dream to keep?  Is it unwise for me to hang onto it?  Should I turn aside to something else or somewhere else (like where I am)?  Contentment vs. laziness?  Quitting one way vs. quitting another?  I'm torn.

Leaving (Searching)

I live in a metro area.  I have some contacts around the area, but full time, permanent positions are hard to come by and impossible to get without more experience than I can get by teaching a class a semester on top of my regular, full time job. 

My alma mater is in the middle of nowhere and has very strict doctrinal requirements.  It is a much smaller pond, overall, which makes it a better target.  My mom would be thrilled to have me back within easy driving distance (until she learned that I wouldn't really visit much more frequently), and I must admit that with the economy still shaky, it would be better to be closer to "home" in case the awful happened, and I had to retreat.

Staying (Stopping)

I like it here.  I am actively listening and waiting, but I am content.  Unfortunately, I feel like staying would be settling, going for the safe option, not necessarily the best option, chasing safety and not  . . . whatever it is I'm supposed to be chasing (righteousness, obedience, ?).  Quitting, and you know how I am about quitting . . .  


I believe that no matter what decision I make, God will still love me.  This is not a test; there is not a wrong answer.  I can faithfully follow God wherever I go, wherever I end up, wherever I am.  (Are we there yet?  No.)

In fact, I wish I were there in the future, past all this, decisions all made, not profoundly unsettled and faced with all kinds of tough choices.

What advice and/or wisdom can you impart to me?


  1. Yeah, your being here is one of the reasons the choice is harder than it was two years ago . . .