I still think I want to teach composition full time at a small, Christian liberal arts college. Is this a good dream to keep? Is it unwise for me to hang onto it? Should I turn aside to something else or somewhere else (like where I am)? Contentment vs. laziness? Quitting one way vs. quitting another? I'm torn.
I live in a metro area. I have some contacts around the area, but full time, permanent positions are hard to come by and impossible to get without more experience than I can get by teaching a class a semester on top of my regular, full time job.
My alma mater is in the middle of nowhere and has very strict doctrinal requirements. It is a much smaller pond, overall, which makes it a better target. My mom would be thrilled to have me back within easy driving distance (until she learned that I wouldn't really visit much more frequently), and I must admit that with the economy still shaky, it would be better to be closer to "home" in case the awful happened, and I had to retreat.
I like it here. I am actively listening and waiting, but I am content. Unfortunately, I feel like staying would be settling, going for the safe option, not necessarily the best option, chasing safety and not . . . whatever it is I'm supposed to be chasing (righteousness, obedience, ?). Quitting, and you know how I am about quitting . . .
I believe that no matter what decision I make, God will still love me. This is not a test; there is not a wrong answer. I can faithfully follow God wherever I go, wherever I end up, wherever I am. (Are we there yet? No.)
In fact, I wish I were there in the future, past all this, decisions all made, not profoundly unsettled and faced with all kinds of tough choices.
What advice and/or wisdom can you impart to me?