Did you know it was asexual awareness week? Neither did I. How did people become aware of things before the internet?
Since I am now aware that there's an official category and stuff, I did a bit of looking at definitions, and it seems that I actually don't really qualify for the asexual category if it is strictly defined as a lack of sexual orientation. In real life, however, (on the discussion groups and forums), it seems that people who identify themselves as asexual are sometimes indicating a preference or choice to not participate in sexual activity (though some who identify as asexual do have sex usually for the sake of other people), so maybe I still qualify for the label.
Random fact from Wikipedia: "Currently the US states of Vermont and New York have labeled asexuals as a protected class." Who knew?
Conclusion: Since I've had crushes on boys, I think I'm technically not asexual. I guess celibacy is the word for me.
Thing is, I don't always feel comfortable with celibate, either, as the connotation is clearly of one who sets aside these desires for a religious purpose, and I don't really think that's what I'm doing. Wikipedia separates asexuality from it for that reason: "distinct from abstention from sexual activity and from celibacy, which are behavioral and generally motivated by an individual's religious (or other) beliefs. . .."
Not a eunuch from birth and not a eunuch for the kingdom of God (Matthew 19:12). Then what am I? And what should I be (doing)?