I figure as long as you focus before Daylight Savings Time changes, that's fine, right? :)
The focus of this year is healing right now. Doctor visits, physical therapy, not beating myself up as much about being crippled, etc. I have this amusing idea that since I'm not working two jobs right now, since I'm not where I (think I) want to be, since I've dropped so many things (and can barely hold on to what I have), maybe I should stop dwelling on these failures and see what kind of healing I can do with the down time I have right now.
One doctor told me he thinks I could get better than I am, but it would have to be serious rehab. "It would be another full time job," he told me. "That's the kind of effort it would take. Like Joe Mauer!"
The last time I tried to hold down two full time jobs was probably a certifiable near-disaster.
But I am so tired of being in pain. If there is any chance I can improve, I should probably take it, even if it ends again in failure because then, in my failure, I can say I really did try because, you know, that may have a slight effect, like ibuprofin . . .
Problem: God alone knows if the federal office of workers' compensation programs would pay for that kind of rehab.
It's hard to imagine that there was once a time when I really didn't want Jesus to come back really soon because there was so much I wanted to do here (not including the whole injury and derailment of life as I knew it, of course).
Are we there yet?
No.
Are we there yet?
No!
One foot in front of the other. Stay near a wall at all times in case you start to feel light-headed. Always have a hand on the stair railings (the good hand, or at least whichever one is working [better] today).
Someone must be carrying me because it's been a long time since I could carry myself.
This, too, shall pass. Eventually.
You should go for it. I wonder, has anyone mentioned diet into your options for healing/treatment? Sounds like you have a really hard time fighting off/healing from injuries and illness. It's possible that changing a few things might help. Not "taking more vitamins" ... more like cutting out preservatives and additives and such. Maybe you already do this. It's worth a try, though, if you're interested in pursuing. It's more work, but not much more.
ReplyDeletePart of the problem with food options is that I can't really cook/cut food. Anything I do with my hands means more pain and fewer other things I can do with my hands. That said, I've become more of a label reader, and I'm trying to eat more fresh-ish foods like soup made from scratch there daily and veggies (pre-cut, hooray). The cafeteria at the place where I work now has been a big help there.
ReplyDeleteYou could look at it as a sort of Year of Jubilee.
ReplyDeleteHm, that is a problem. You need a chef or some kind of "writes in exchange for fresh food" agreement. I'd cook for you if I were closer. Good for your new cafeteria, though!
ReplyDeleteThe Year of Jubilee was a good idea . . .
ReplyDeleteHeh heh. Do I need a "Will write for fresh food" sign? :)
I've been contemplating a "Will think for books" sign, myself...
ReplyDeleteTotally a good idea! Maybe a t-shirt?
ReplyDeleteThat would rock. I also need to actually make the death of rats shirt I wanted to ever so long ago... in a gothic font in all caps, SQUEAK.
ReplyDeleteIf you make me one, too, we can be twins. :)
ReplyDelete