Visit Five: February
Well, I expected to be sad, since we were covering "Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted," but I seriously haven't cried that much since the last Guy Gavriel Kay book I read (his books are guaranteed to have at least a couple extended parts in them that thoroughly clean out my tear ducts). The speaker is a church member who is a professor at a local university but not a preacher, so she wrote out her message and read it (really well). It is a darn good thing I was wearing one of my washable scarves because I didn't bring my backpack in this week, so I didn't have any real tissues. And boy did I need them.
After this sermon, I came to the conclusion that something I'd been struggling with every so often and unexpectedly (sudden strong anger around the whole getting hurt at work and fighting with OWCP for a decade before giving up on justice) was not necessarily a sad lack of self-control on my part but actually part of a pattern of grief I hadn't really let myself mourn through. Really unexpected but so healing.
I also came to the conclusion that I need to have a very uncomfortable conversation with my family that I have been putting off. This woman's story and her conclusion that we need to do the work now, ASAP, because anything can happen punches me where I need it. No more excuses. Just do the work.